Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
