So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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