Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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