She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
