Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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