I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How external is "for external use only"?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
