i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
This toilet bowl is my home.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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