in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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