That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
