Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
