Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
