I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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