Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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