I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
