He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
