he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
