you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
