Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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