it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
