Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
time to smoke my breakfast
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
