Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
