When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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