I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
