It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i've created a new STD.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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