The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
