So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
