I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
