Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
