Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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