If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
