Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
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I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
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Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize