jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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