I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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