You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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