I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
