Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
