I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
