she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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