Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I want to fling myself into the sun
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