Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
