How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
