I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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