I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
