he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
