thus making me awesome and them whores
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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