lets start a swedish sibling band together
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
