the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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