I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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