you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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