my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
