Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
