I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just had sex on a roof
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
