I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
