I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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