I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
