Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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