Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
