I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Found the puke drawer
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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