no one should ever give us hovercrafts
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
