She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
