I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
