If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
